


Together

by imaginaryfriendashkun



Category: S.C.I.谜案集 | S.C.I. Mystery (TV)
Genre: AU, Angry Yao, Angst, Anxiety, Boxing, Comfort, Dark, Dark Yao!, Death, Earphones, Established Relationship, Evil Yao!, Ficlets, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Implied Death, Implied Non-Con, Love, M/M, Mouse and Kitten, Murder, Music, Nightmares, Not explicit because I can't write explicit, Outburst, Reliving the same moment, Safety, Smart Yao, Their weird love, Thin line between reality and insanity, Time Loop, Trust Issues, Understanding Yutong, Worried Yutong, Worry, Yao's mind games, Yutong's physical combat, exercise, headphones
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-06
Updated: 2019-03-02
Packaged: 2019-10-05 12:46:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,696
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17325269
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/imaginaryfriendashkun/pseuds/imaginaryfriendashkun
Summary: Ficlets about Yutong and Yao being together no matter what the situation.Chapter 1: Yutong wonders why Yao likes music so muchChapter 2: Yao is uncomfortable as Yutong wants to protect him blatantly in front of their team matesChapter 3: Yutong lives the same  horrible moment involving Yao in different ways, again and againChapter 4: Yao is stuck in a time loop, trying to save Yutong again and again, he is missing something extremely important to make out of the loop with Yutong.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> DISCLAIMER: All rights reserved. No part of these pages, either text or image may be used for any purpose other than personal use. Reproduction, modification, storage in a retrieval system or retransmission, in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical or otherwise, for reasons other than personal use, is strictly prohibited without prior written permission. 
> 
> All mistakes - plot, grammar, characterization, situation descriptions - are mine. Not beta'd. Let me know if there are glaring problems, I want to improve :)
> 
> NOTE:  
> I hope it's not OOC, I love Yutong and Yao's relationship and I love the way they call each other kitten and mouse... *sighs*

 

Yutong asks, "Xiao Yao, I am curious."

 

Yao removes his ear phones and looks at Yutong and smiles. Lately, Yao has been smiling a lot and is more open and Yutong is proud that he is the reason. Yutong smiles back gently, "Why do you like music so much?"

 

Yao chuckles to himself at Yutong's curiosity when it comes to things related to Yao. He remembers how he discussed with Yutong about Yutong's love for exercise... about Yutong's favorite workout - boxing. Yutong can't live without it, can't breathe without it. He never skips a session. It's not only for keeping fit and fighting off criminals, it's also a good distraction for his mind. It keeps him calm. It helps him cope with hard things in real life, be it any kind of situations. It also helps him deal with his reckless emotions.

 

Yutong is an extrovert unlike Yao. Outgoing, straightforward, he faces things directly unlike Yao who keeps things inside and hesitates to ask for help, even with Yutong at times, till the last moment, till things go out of hand.

 

Yao smiles. "Music helps me cope. Being a profiler and dealing with deaths and crimes on a regular basis is a hard job. Looking into criminal's minds is tiring as you know. You always worry about me getting too close and crossing the line. It requires a lot from one's soul, to keep seeing such cruel inhumane acts committed by supposed humans. It's hard to... hope, love, believe again later. But music helps me. It calms me down, grounds me, helps me focus."

 

Yao knows he is not alone, he works with Yutong but sometimes even that doesn't help. Yao and Yutong are different people, even though they love each other, they have different tolerance to pain and crime. Yao knows, he would never have accepted these things out loud before, that he has difficulty with the bad things that come with the job but now, he can voice them, thanks to Yutong.

 

"Mouse, it helps me think of the good things in life as well. Helps me understand that there are not only bad things and people and situations out there. I may act fine but even I need some time to myself after dealing with especially difficult situations. Sometimes even meditation doesn't help, music does."

 

Yutong just nods. Yao feels happy that Yutong is listening to his babbling so intently, with so much interest and passion and love and devotion. Yutong doesn't have much patience in general, but with Yao, he has.

 

He continues. For once, talking more than usual. He won't admit it out loud but he enjoys Yutong's attention, rapt attention.

 

"I am good at reading and writing but they are mostly related to the field of psycho-analysis. I don't read non technical things a lot. I can't draw or play instruments. I can't even dance. I can sing but it's not good. But listening to music, the lyrics, the rhythm, the beats, the voice, the background instrument helps me feel alive. Makes me feel happy."

 

"Makes me lose myself in it and drives away my worries and negative thoughts, you know? I sing along. I love understanding the meaning of the lyrics, I love imagining the situations and the feelings of the singer and the composer. I like songs with lots of beats. Idle mind is useless and a devil's workshop and this keeps me engaged. I will probably go crazy or mad or angry without it. Music has done so much to me. It's not just noise. It's something more, very meaningful to me and close to my heart. I listen to songs in various languages. Gives me an excuse to learn other languages as well, just to understand the lyrics."

 

Yutong doesn't beat around the bush. "It makes you less afraid of your mind, doesn't it, kitten?" It's a coping mechanism. Yutong gets lost in boxing at times as well.

 

Yao has a great mind, he is gifted, a genius in the field of profiling and psycho-analysis but he gets too close to the dark line for Yutong's liking. He remembers what happened when Zhang Jue was involved. He worries about Yao's mental well being all the time. He knows that Yao will never say it out loud but Yao, at times is afraid of his own mind. There's a thin thread between reality and insanity and Yutong doesn't want Yao to cross that, ever. He won't let it happen as long as he is alive.

 

Yao mumbles, "It helps shut down my mind." Yutong nods, he doesn't push. He doesn't want to.

 

He remembers the argument they once had.

 

_"You don't know how it is to be afraid of your own mind."_

 

_"Let me in, I can help."_

 

_"No one can."_

 

_"At least, help me understand, kitten."_

 

_Yao doesn't say anything._

 

_Yutong gets angry, "You think Jue can understand?"_

 

_Yao snaps at Yutong and walks away._

 

He also remembers the time when one of the suspect's died by a car crash because of Yao's hypnosis. Yao didn't feel guilty and Yutong directly told him that Yao reminded him of Jue. It was hard. Yao realized what he did later but it was hard for both Yao and Yutong. '

 

The other time when Yao had woken up in cold sweat because of a nightmare of him becoming like Jue.

 

He doesn't want such things to happen again. Things have been getting better after Jue's arrest. 

 

He diverts the topic. That is a talk for another time. 

 

Yutong just nods and says, "Kitten, do you want me to teach you how to play the piano?"

 

Yao's eyes brighten. "Yes, Yutong." Yao has learned another thing. Yutong knows how to play the piano and he is sure that Yutong can carry a tune well unlike Yao even though he has never heard Yutong sing. He can't wait to play the piano with Yutong. He has always been a quick learner.

 

Yutong just nods and doesn't say anything and goes back to his game.

 

**********

 

/*BONUS*/

 

"Don't use earphones, use head phones instead, kitten." says Yutong.

 

He gives a wrapped package to Yao. Yao looks surprised but opens the package at Yutong's nod and silent approval. There's a black and white head phone, brand new, expensive and the best brand out there.

 

Yutong says, "Don't cover your ears fully, don't plug them with ear phones. Leave a little bit gap while using head phones. Don't keep the volume too high. It's better for your ears. Do you hear me, kitten?"

 

Yao's heart swells. This doesn't feel like nagging at all. He nods at Yutong and puts on the headphones immediately, plugs it to his phone and places it around his neck.

 

He is going to be so careful with it unlike the way he is with his earphones at times.

 

He kisses Yutong softly and says, "Thanks, Xiao Yutong. You are good, you know, right?"

 

Yutong shrugs but there's a knowing smile on his face which says, "I know." 

 

Yao rolls his eyes at Yutong.

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DISCLAIMER: All rights reserved. No part of these pages, either text or image may be used for any purpose other than personal use. Reproduction, modification, storage in a retrieval system or retransmission, in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical or otherwise, for reasons other than personal use, is strictly prohibited without prior written permission. 
> 
> All mistakes - plot, grammar, characterization, situation descriptions - are mine. Not beta'd. Let me know if there are glaring problems, I want to improve :)
> 
> NOTE:  
> I hope it's not OOC, I love Yutong and Yao's relationship and I love the way they call each other kitten and mouse... *sighs*

 

"Bai Yutong, shut up!"

 

Yutong and the team look at Yao, startled and surprised.

 

Yao steps forward and drags Yutong to his office and slams the door shut and closes all the blinds. He doesn't want the team to hear or see anything. They can be so nosy at times and Yao knows that they are extremely curious about his relationship with Yutong. They don't have to be obvious, no matter how well they try to hide it, Yao's trained eyes catch all their behavioral cues without any exertion. 

 

"What is wrong with you, freaking _mouse_?! How can you say that in front of the team? You don't trust me to take care of myself? I don't need your protection. Go smother Bai Chi with your worry, won't you?"

 

Yutong is a bit taken aback at Yao's frustrated words. They always fight but this seems to be a little more personal than usual.

 

And Yao _never_ targets Bai Chi, in fact he defends Bai Chi whenever Yutong asks Bai Chi to buckle up. Yao usually supports Bai Chi because Bai Chi is smart like Yao and both of them tend to use their minds for battle rather than their muscles. 

 

Yao also stands up for Bai Chi when Yutong asks him to learn defense, saying that he can get out of situations using his mind as a weapon. Yutong agrees but he also knows that basic self defense is extremely important in this dangerous field.

 

"What is wrong, _kitten_?"

 

Yao doesn't respond. He takes a step backward, seeming a bit lost which is never the case with Yao who always knows every situation well and is usually confident about his actions and knowledge. Yutong is a little worried and feels protective. Yao would hate it if he were to know but Yutong really can't suppress his protective instincts easily when it comes to Yao. 

 

Yutong takes a step forward and places an assuring, gentle hand on Yao's shoulder.

 

"Tell me."

 

Yao sighs.

 

"Why do you always say it out loud, show it in front of everyone?"

 

"Show what?"

 

"Your love, your worry. Your feelings. The whole world doesn't have to know. It could be any form of love, lovers or friends or brothers, you always show it out loud."

 

"Why not? I love you. I want everyone to know how much I love you. I know you are a private person, kitten, unlike me but I just want to show it. I am straightforward you already know that. The team has probably figured most of it by now."

 

"This is our workplace! We can't let our private life and feelings get the better of us. There are people to be saved and protected, Bai Yutong!"

 

"Kitten, are you angry because of this or is it because you are worried that you cannot show your love for me out loud like I am doing?"

 

No response. Radio silence. He has hit the mark.

 

"Kitten, I can hear your silence loud and clear, your actions speak louder than your words."

 

The damn mouse, when did he get so perceptive? Yao has rubbed off on him and he feels a little proud even though it is annoying. 

 

"It doesn't matter if you don't say it out loud, I know that you love me. You don't have to embarrassed that I protect you in front of our team at times, I get worried and carried away, that doesn't mean that I trust you any less. You are very capable, you are very intelligent. You know how to protect yourself but you don't take care of yourself well. And there are situations which need more of physical combat which is exactly not your area of expertise just like mind games are not mine."

 

Yao nods. Yutong smiles. He hugs Yao one-sidedly, placing his arms around Yao's neck and gently rubbing it. Yao grabs onto his arm, leaning into his touch and they stay like that for a while before stepping out of Yutong's office.

 

"Let us go before they bring down the roof, shall we?" asks Yutong as a matter of fact.

 

Yao nods. He thought of staying behind and going out later but it really doesn't matter anymore. They need to work it out, _together_. He walks by Yutong's side - it will still take some time to adjust to Yutong's love but Yao is getting there just like how Yutong is trying to adjust to Yao's kind of love - to face their team mates and resume their work. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please DO NOT REPOST my fics without my permission. Kindly ask me before hand for translations. Credit my work/profile Ao3/Wattpad URL without fail. I am on AO3 ([imaginaryfriendashkun](https://archiveofourown.org/users/imaginaryfriendashkun/pseuds/imaginaryfriendashkun)) and Wattpad ([alien/imaginaryfriendashkun](https://www.wattpad.com/user/alienfriendashkun)) and Youtube ([Ash Kun](https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCEWO5kWpuGFJzdSV0LTLGKg?view_as=subscriber))and not on any other platform
> 
> Please help me report them if you find my fics somewhere else
> 
> Thank you for reading :D Have a nice day! Kindly leave a comment if you have time :)


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DISCLAIMER: All rights reserved. No part of these pages, either text or image may be used for any purpose other than personal use. Reproduction, modification, storage in a retrieval system or retransmission, in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical or otherwise, for reasons other than personal use, is strictly prohibited without prior written permission.
> 
> All mistakes - plot, grammar, characterization, situation descriptions - are mine. Not beta'd. Let me know if there are glaring problems, I want to improve :)
> 
> NOTE:  
> I hope it's not OOC, I love Yutong and Yao's relationship and I love the way they call each other kitten and mouse... *sighs*

 

"What the _fuck_ have you done to him?"

 

Jue just looks at him calmly as if to say that he hasn't done anything.

 

Yutong slams his fists on the table and Jue doesn't even flinch. There is that infuriating calm look on his face, as if he is silently judging everyone, as if he has a control on everything and everyone, which he probably does but Yutong is in no mood for all that crap.

 

He knows he shouldn't be showing his emotions explicitly but he can't help it. Even if he doesn't, he is sure that everyone already knows that he cares for Yao way too much, much more than as a normal friend or even brother.

 

Seeing Yao so lost, so mute, like a child, so frightened. Unlike his usual confident, smart self. Yao is a mere shell of his old shelf and it is all because Jue showed something truly frightening to him.

 

"Why? I thought you admired him, I thought you considered him as smart as you, up to your level, as an equal. I thought, in your own twisted way, you protected him from other sick creatures. Why?"

 

Jue sighs. He finally speaks up. "I gave him a choice, he chose wrong."

 

Yutong feels the anger surge again. "What freaking choice?" If Yao had been here, he would have helped Yutong calm down, he would have held back Yutong's raging feelings. Well, hell, he is isn't here, is he? And whose fault is it?

 

"Your fault, not mine."

 

Yutong loses it spectacularly. It isn't like he was put together sometime back but now he is completely unhinged. None of the team members hold him back. Not even his father, not Bao Sir, definitely not Yao's father.

 

He grabs Jue by the collar and punches him. He shakes him so hard and topples the chair. Jue is smiling calmly through it all.

 

"Are you curious?"

 

Yutong hisses.

 

"I asked him to join me. He chose wrong. He doesn't know how to use his talents, so he is of no use because he will interfere with my plans. I thought he was warming up to me, but I guess not. You held him back with stupid _love_." The way he says love feels sarcastic and disgusting with some hidden meaning that Yutong can't understand. 

 

If Yao had been here, he would have told Yutong, "It's not your fault. It's Jue's doing." Even then it would have been difficult for Yutong to believe. He isn't here and it's even more harder for Yutong to accept that it is not his fault. His team members, Bao Sir, the magician - Bai Chi's boyfriend - his father, even Yao's father told him that it is not his fault, that it is Jue's because of his obsession with Yao's mind but he can't bring himself to believe it.

 

"Give him back to us, to me."

 

Jue laughs. He knows that only he can set Yao right again. Yutong and everyone else has tried, no psychologist was able to help Yao. Yutong wasn't -isn't- able to help either.

 

"At a price."

 

Is he willing to pay?

 

He cocks his head, arrogantly, calmly, silently challenging Yutong, asking with his dark eyes, ' _Are you willing to pay?_ '

 

"Yes."

 

Bao Sir and Yao's father enter the room and pull him out.

 

"We need to talk."

 

Yutong is adamant, "No."

 

"We don't know what he will do with Yao or with others. You can't blindly fall into his trap, again. You can't accept without knowing what the price is. You didn't even ask."

 

"I don't care."

 

Zan Sr. shakes his head. "Don't be reckless, Yutong. I can't lose another son to Jue."

 

Yutong finally looks at Yao's father, into his eyes. "You won't."

 

He ignores everyone and walks in. "I will take you to him, fix him."

 

It's hard to see Yao in such a broken state. Even if it kills him and Yao blames him later, Yutong will do it.

 

"You are not going to ask about the price?"

 

"No."

 

"Clever boy."

 

**********

 

And Yutong takes him to Yao and stays outside the door. The door opens after a pain taking 30 minutes and Yao steps out, all alone.

 

Yutong isn't even in the mind to rush in and look for Jue. His gut knows that Jue must have escaped by now. They will catch him again later. He will face all the consequences of letting Jue escape, again. For now, Yao is safe.

 

He knows, this is why private and work shouldn't be mixed. Jue being out there means that he is going to ruin a lot of other lives but Yutong is glad that Yao is back. Yao looks bright once again, confident, smart, like himself. There's that familiar sparkle and life in his eyes and Yutong is glad.

 

He pounces on Yao and hugs him tightly, cursing his bones. "Kitten, I am glad you are back."

 

Yao looks puzzled. "Who are you?"

 

It feels like someone poured ice water over him. "W-What, kitten, don't joke, it isn't funny!"

 

Yao looks into his eyes and Yutong realizes that it is not a joke.

 

He punches his arm on the wall next to Yao and Yao is startled. He wonders if Yutong is insane and Yutong wonders the same.

 

**********

 

And Yutong takes him to Yao and stays outside the door. The door opens after a pain taking 30 minutes and Yao steps out, all alone.

 

Yutong isn't even in the mind to rush in and look for Jue. His gut knows that Jue must have escaped by now. They will catch him again later. He will face all the consequences of letting Jue escape, again. For now, Yao is safe.

 

He knows, this is why private and work shouldn't be mixed. Jue being out there means that he is going to ruin a lot of other lives but Yutong is glad that Yao is back. Yao looks bright once again, confident, smart, like himself. There's that familiar sparkle and life in his eyes and Yutong is glad.

 

He pounces on Yao and hugs him tightly, cursing his bones. "Kitten, I am glad you are back."

 

"You won't be in a few minutes, idiot."

 

Yutong lets go of Yao in shock. There's a darkness dripping from Yao's voice and as Yutong meets Yao's eyes, it's dark, evil, unrecognizable. And he feels a pain in his stomach.

 

Why are Yao's hands red? Why is there a knife in his hand? Why did Yao just stab Yutong so carelessly as if it - _Yutong_ \- meant nothing to him? As if Yutong means nothing to Yao? That hurts more than the stab wound.

 

"Rot in hell, _dirty rat_."

 

That twists Yutong's gut even more, their soft nicknames, mouse and kitten, turned into something else.

 

Yutong goes down on his knees and Yao just stands there, watching, smiling, enjoying Yutong's pain, making him writhe even more, watching the light slowly fade away from Yutong's eyes.

 

The last thing that Yutong sees is Yao pressing a finger to his lips and making the signature, 'Shh..' gesture of Jue's. All hell is going to break lose.

 

**********

 

And Yutong takes him to Yao and stays outside the door. The door opens after a pain taking 30 minutes and Yao steps out, all alone.

 

Yutong isn't even in the mind to rush in and look for Jue. His gut knows that Jue must have escaped by now. They will catch him again later. He will face all the consequences of letting Jue escape, again. For now, Yao is safe.

 

He knows, this is why private and work shouldn't be mixed. Jue being out there means that he is going to ruin a lot of other lives but Yutong is glad that Yao is back. Yao looks bright once again, confident, smart, like himself. There's that familiar sparkle and life in his eyes and Yutong is glad.

 

He pounces on Yao and hugs him tightly, cursing his bones. "Kitten, I am glad you are back."

 

"I am sorry, mouse, forgive me. This has to be done."

 

And things go dark. Did he just faint? Did Yao just hypnotize him with a snap of his fingers? Why?

 

There is a pull and a cry and his hands are wet and he opens his eyes and Yao is on his lap, blood oozing from his mouth and chest and there's a gun on Yutong's left hand and the gun shot sound comes back and it is on repeat and he cannot hear anything else.

 

"Why, k-kitten?"

 

"It was this or I had to kill you."

 

"You chose wrong again."

 

"I know. S-sorry."

 

**********

 

And Yutong takes him to Yao and stays outside the door. The door opens after a pain taking 30 minutes and no one steps out.

 

Yutong isn't even in the mind to rush in and look for Jue. His gut knows that Jue must have escaped by now. They will catch him again later. He will face all the consequences of letting Jue escape, again. But where's Yao?

 

Yao isn't there. And Yutong realizes what the price is. Jue taking Yao with him and making Yao do evil deeds like him because he knows very well that Yutong won't be able to hurt Yao.

 

And Yutong almost catches Yao after 3 months but he lets go because all he has is a gun and he can't think of any way to capture Yao without hurting him.

 

"You let him go? Why would you do that?!"

 

Yutong can't honestly answer Yao's father's question.

 

He captures Yao after another 2 months and no one is ready to face Yao, no one is ready to question Yao and it falls on Yutong.

 

It's hard to see Yao's face distorted beyond recognition. There's no hint of the old Yao there and Yutong still loves him and he hates himself so much for it. He doesn't know if he can actually help Yao.

 

Yao smirks at him. The one in front of him is Yao, yet not.

 

"Did you kill him? Did Jue help? Did you do it on your own?" Yutong wants to get this over with. He doesn't want to ask such questions but he has to. He wants to get Yao back.

 

Maybe, it's not too late. He has to do better, be strong, for Yao, for all the people that Jue can hurt. He cannot let his private feelings come into this. He needs to know to set things right. He needs to know to set things in motion again.

 

"You are the detective, aren't you? What are you getting paid for."

 

Yutong doesn't raise to the bait. If it had been anyone else, he probably would have. He has years of experience of dealing with Yao. It helps in such a situation.

 

"Did you want to do it?" Yutong is afraid to know but he has to know.

 

"Maybe. Maybe not." He wants to wipe the smugness off of Yao's face. It destroys the kindness and Yao's beauty.

 

"Zhan Yao!"

 

"It would be fun, getting people to submit, having control over them, making them dance like a puppet without physical strings, making them do your bidding but unfortunately, no, they killed themselves, I did nothing."

 

Yao still doesn't say that he is working with Jue. Yao is being extremely careful. He is not getting himself implicated either. The team has no proof that Yao or Jue are involved in the suicides except the fact that their gut says so and it falls in the pattern of crimes that Jue is likely to commit based on the profiling that Yao left them with before being whisked away by Jue himself.

 

"Why were you in hiding?"

 

Yao sighs. "Why do I have to tell you everything. You have no evidence. It's not hiding. I grew sick of the team and everything, I went away. I wanted time for myself."

 

"You are not working with Jue."

 

"You tell me."

 

"Kitten... please."

 

Yao's eyes flash. Yutong can't quite place the emotions. Is it the old Yao? Is it anger? Is it sadness or yearning? What is it? Yutong isn't sure and the look is gone within a second.

 

"Don't call me that."

 

Is this the way to break Yao? Did - does - Yutong matter enough for Yao to come out from Jue's clutches. Another voice whispers, 'What if it is not Jue's hypnosis but Yao himself who wanted to do such crimes?' Yutong shakes his head to clear the dark voice.

 

"Do you really think I am capable of such things, even under Jue's influence, if I were to be under such a pull? Do you think I would actually enjoy doing this to people and readily give in and be swept away by Jue of all people, if possible?"

 

Yutong doesn't reply. He is struck by the vulnerability in Yao's words and face.

 

Yao smirks. "No wonder."

 

Yutong's head snaps up, "No wonder what?"

 

Yao shrugs. He leans across the table and whispers in Yutong's ears, "Your Yao is dead, there's no more kitten, rat."

 

Yutong's restraint snaps, he gets up, kicks his chair down and pulls Yao up by his collars and slams him against the wall. "What. The. Hell!"

 

Yao slaps away Yutong's hands easily. When did Yao grow so physically strong. He dusts himself as if Yutong is dirt and steps back, putting a lot of space between them. Yutong's heart breaks but he doesn't show it.

 

"Don't touch me as if I belong to you. You have no right. I can sue you for misconduct."

 

What about all the nights and the kisses and the touches they shared together?

 

If the real Yao were here, he would have wanted to get better or maybe it's Yutong's selfish wishes twisted morals and that are talking. He wants to lock this Yao up because if he can't change Yao or stop him or get the old Yao back, the least he can do is arrest him so that he doesn't grow more evil, so that Yao does't commit more crimes or murders.

 

Right now, they don't have proof. They don't know if Jue did the murders staged as suicides or if Yao did or if they did it together but Yutong will not let it happen anymore.

 

"I will lock you up."

 

"Try me, rat."

 

**********

 

"You beg so prettily, Xiao Yao. Your body is just as pretty and capable as your mind."

 

Yao is tied up on a table, his wrists held painfully taut, his ankles spread apart and cuffed to the edges of the bed in a painful position. He is blindfolded and there is a gag in his mouth. He wants to escape but he can't. He can't even wiggle, can't even move a little bit.

 

He hates those hands on him, he hates those prying, exploring hands. He hates the torture, the knife wounds, the shocks, the fire wounds, everything. He hates everything. He hates the _touch_. He hates the blinding all consuming overwhelming pain and disgust from the wandering hands. He wants to puke, throw up.

 

He wants to kill himself. He doesn't want this. He doesn't want to be touched in such a way. He hates this. It is disgusting, he wants to cry but he holds back because he shouldn't be showing weakness in front of this vile creature.

 

He wants to escape but he can't. The worst is he doesn't know if the pain is real or just because of hypnosis. He doesn't know who is doing this to him, touching him without his consent, torturing him for fun - Yutong or Jue.

 

Yutong wouldn't do this to him unless hypnotized by Jue and Jue is that powerful. Or maybe it is Jue. Maybe it is Jue pretending to be Yutong but just the thought of Yutong being brought into this mess because of Jue's obsession with Yao is so heart wrenching. Yutong doesn't deserve this. He doesn't either.

 

He didn't beg at first, he was stubborn, he didn't make a sound but his tolerance level and limits broke bit by bit after weeks. Again, he doesn't know if it really has been weeks or not.

 

He wants to escape.

 

"Kitten..."

 

Yao jolts in his bonds and a tear finally escapes. The physical torture is better than the mental one, honestly.

 

**********

 

Yutong wakes up in cold sweat.

 

"Mouse?" It's mouse, not rat, Yutong reminds himself. Yao called him mouse, not rat. It's _mouse_. Yao's voice is soft and caring, it is not filled with venom or disgust or amnesia. It is the usual Yao's voice.

 

Today's nightmare was the worst. The worst of all the nightmares he has been having for weeks. He has somehow escaped Yao's notice because Yao was away, for a seminar, for two weeks.

 

Yutong called him every day, once, to check on him. He had Jian Ling track his whereabouts, that's how he was able to refrain from calling many times, texting many times, hell, that's what stopped him from _actually_ going there.

 

"You were never good at hiding emotions. Don't try to now."

 

Yutong whispers, "I know."

 

"That doesn't mean that you can't control fear or discomfort or sadness."

 

"I know." Silence. "Kitten." He doesn't want to call him cat, that's different. Kitten is different.

 

"You don't have to act happy when you are sad."

 

"I know."

 

"You don't have to act strong when you are hurt and lost and weak. I can help you too. I know, Yutong, you always help me, protect me and worry for me but for once, I can do the same for you, will you let me, mouse?"

 

"I k-know."

 

Yao hesitates a little, so does Yutong. Yao finally bridges the gap and envelopes Yutong in a hug.

 

"Did you have a dream about me?"

 

Yutong doesn't say anything but Yao knows. "I heard my name. What was it about? Was I in danger? Was that the reason you called me everyday despite knowing that I don't like it? Despite you not being the type to call everyday?"

 

Of course, Yutong doesn't have to explain. Yao is perceptive. He is not a profiler for nothing. He is the best in the field.

 

Yao doesn't say that it would be OK, he doesn't say that things will become better.

 

"I am here now. I am safe now, in this _moment_."

 

And strangely, that's all Yutong needs, for now. They fall asleep like that, in each other's arms and thankfully, Yutong's nightmares go away because he knows that Yao is safe and that's all he needs.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please DO NOT REPOST my fics without my permission. Kindly ask me before hand for translations. Credit my work/profile Ao3/Wattpad URL without fail. I am on AO3 ([imaginaryfriendashkun](https://archiveofourown.org/users/imaginaryfriendashkun/pseuds/imaginaryfriendashkun)) and Wattpad ([alien/imaginaryfriendashkun](https://www.wattpad.com/user/alienfriendashkun)) and Youtube ([Ash Kun](https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCEWO5kWpuGFJzdSV0LTLGKg?view_as=subscriber))and not on any other platform
> 
> Please help me report them if you find my fics somewhere else
> 
> Thank you for reading :D Have a nice day! Kindly leave a comment if you have time :)


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DISCLAIMER: All rights reserved. No part of these pages, either text or image may be used for any purpose other than personal use. Reproduction, modification, storage in a retrieval system or retransmission, in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical or otherwise, for reasons other than personal use, is strictly prohibited without prior written permission. 
> 
> All mistakes - plot, grammar, characterization, situation descriptions - are mine. Not beta'd. Let me know if there are glaring problems, I want to improve :)
> 
> NOTE:  
> I hope it's not OOC, I love Yutong and Yao's relationship and I love the way they call each other kitten and mouse... *sighs*

 

"Do you still _not_ realize what is important?"

 

Yao startles at the eerie voice. A little girl is standing in front of him, with a black hat twirling between her small fingers and a beautiful long red gown, her eyes look mysterious and creepy, cat like. But her voice sounds like an old woman's. Old, authoritative, full of experience and magic.

 

Yao feels a headache. "Who are you?"

 

"You don't need to know."

 

"What do you want?"

 

"It is not me who wants something, it is you, right? _Xiao Yao_. You need to realize what is important to break this loop." Xiao Yao seems sarcastic on her lips.

 

Why the hell is she calling him little Yao? How old is she exactly? Is it a growth hormone problem? Something tells him it is otherwise but he really can't think clearly right now. The headache worsens.

 

Yao steps back before he can stop himself. How does she know? How does she know about the time loop? How does she know that he hasn't been able to save Yutong? How does she know that he has been trying so _so_ hard for days?

 

"Are your feelings more important than his life?"

 

What is she talking about? Yutong is extremely important to Yao, he may not show it out a lot unlike Yutong who has no qualms in showing it in front of their colleagues but Yutong's safety is extremely important to Yao. And it has been hard in the past three weeks, watching Yutong get hurt again and _again_ in front of Yao's eyes.

 

The girl sighs dramatically. "Not everything can be explained by science or books. You worry your pretty little head too much. You need to stop thinking and actually do something before it is too late."

 

Is that a warning?

 

Yao feels frustrated and suffocated at the same time. "If you are here to help, you should put things clearly in perspective."

 

The girl rolls her eyes, "Not everything will be handed to you in a silver platter, Xiao Yao."

 

The girl vanishes before Yao can say or ask anything else and he wakes up, sweating, panting, Yutong not by his side - how did he even fall asleep without Yutong's presence? - and regretting having woken up to another day of time loop.

 

**********

 

This time, it is a bullet that takes Yutong down, Yutong jumps in front of him to save him from a bullet. Yesterday it was drowning, before that it was a knife, before that it was a kidnapping gone wrong, before that it was poison, before that it was a bomb, before that it was a fire, before that it was strangling, before that it was being beaten to death.

 

Yao remembers every day, every second, every gory detail, he doesn't want to but he does anyway because he was the one who started it, he was the one who started it. He deserves this pain. He deserves to watch Yutong die again and again to protect him because he is the reason Yutong dies every day and he deserves to suffer and watch Yutong die, unable to save him despite trying everything, every day without giving up. He deserves worse, Yao really does.

 

He remembers the very first time it happened.

 

**********

 

It is a gathering for Yutong's elder sister's birthday. Yutong, his parents, his sister, Yao, his parents, Bao Sir, Bai Chi, the magician, their colleagues, everyone is there.

 

Bai Sr. and Zhan Sr. are talking fondly about Yutong and Yao's relationship and it is making Yao extremely comfortable. Everyone is looking at him as if why they haven't already announced it out loud and Yao doesn't know what to say.

 

"Kitten?"

 

Yao startles and drops the wine glass as Yutong gently touches his shoulder, it is not even intimate but it makes Yao feel extremely hot and flustered, especially with several pairs of eyes looking at them closely, like a hawk. He hates gatherings, he hates the crowd. He would rather have stayed back home with a book.

 

He hisses, "Don't call me that!"

 

Calling him cat is fine but being called kitten in front of everyone is embarrassing. If they were alone, he wouldn't have minded, he calls Yutong mouse all the time but kitten is different from cat and it bugs him to see their nosy colleagues smiling as if a bet is about to be proved.

 

Yutong looks confused, "Are you OK? Are you feeling sick?"

 

He is about to place a hand on Yao's head to check for fever but Yao slaps his hands away.

 

"Please leave me alone, Yutong. I don't love you." Yao ignores the look of hurt that flashes across Yutong's eyes and stalks out, not before yelling to the now silent room, "Please mind your own business. There is nothing between Yutong and I. We are not in any kind of relationship."

 

In his hurry, he does't notice the car that is coming straight towards him, he doesn't hear or see anything, he is lost in his own mind. He doesn't even realize that he is being pushed away by someone from behind.

 

He falls onto the pavement and rubs at his scratched palms in pain and freezes as he hears screeching noise, of brakes being pressed but it is too late because he heard the sound of a human body being hit by metal.

 

Yao is frozen, _no_ , he doesn't want to see the blood, he doesn't want to turn back and look at Yutong's broken body, he doesn't want to, no because he knows only Yutong would have run after him, nobody else would have. Only Yutong would risk his life to protect Yao even after Yao did that to him in front of all their lose friends and family and colleagues, after Yao told that he didn't love Yutong, _only Yutong._

 

Yao feels the tears and he hears Yutong's sister scream and he knows, he knows, they won't blame him for being saved but he is the reason that Yutong is probably dead. He hugs himself and feels the darkness close in after he catches a glimpse of the bloody broken mess of Yutong's body and lifeless eyes.

 

**********

 

Yutong wakes up, drenched in sweat.

 

Was that a nightmare? Seriously? That felt so vivid and true, too real and too uncomfortable.

 

He looks at the clock. It is 2 AM. He blinks, he cannot go back to sleep. Something is different. He looks at the clock again, it says Feb 23. Wait, wasn't yesterday Feb 23? What is happening?

 

Yao feels a bit scared and lost. He has never felt this way before. He is missing something and for the first time, he really really can't put his fingers on it, he can't explain it. His big brain and knowledge aren't helping.

 

**********

 

He goes to work but there is no gathering in the evening. Yao feels a bit better. Things are not repeating. He must have been mistaken. He ignores the voice in his head which says that Yao has a genius mind and a great memory and would never be mistaken about something trivial as a date. He probably was too much shaken because of the too real nightmare.

 

He is on edge and he realizes too late why he has been on edge the whole day. He watches as Yutong is engulfed in flames, trying to save Yao and all Yao can do is scream and kick at the person holding him back. It is 5:30 PM and he cannot save Yutong.

 

**********

 

He wakes up again and sees that it is Feb 23, 2 AM again. He places his head on his palms. He wants this to stop. He really doesn't want this, he really can't go through this again and again. Besides, what the fuck is this even?

 

This is no science. What the hell is this. Why Yutong? Why someone as strong and kind as Yutong? Why? Why?

 

He feels sick, he feels disgusting. Nobody will blame him, not even Yutong but he is the source of it all, the wretched source and he gets up and stumbles towards the bathroom to puke.

 

**********

 

He tries everything he can, every single thing he can.

 

He tries acting sick so Yutong won't go to work, so Yutong will come to his home to take care of him instead of going to the office. Doesn't work. Yutong gets a heart attack at 5:30 PM sharp. How the hell does a healthy, fit male in his twenties get a sudden heart attack?

 

He tries staying all day at office so Yutong won't be hurt. There is a break in at the office and they are held hostages and Yutong is shot dead trying to save Yao, again. 

 

He tries sticking close to Yutong all day, doesn't work. He tries staying away from Yutong, doesn't work because Yutong never lets him be alone, he always finds Yao somehow or the other.

 

He tries changing tactics and protecting Yutong for a change, doesn't work.

 

Like clockwork, he wakes up every night at 2AM, Feb 23 and watches Yutong die at 5:30 PM, Feb 23 every day, _again and again_ , like a broken record. Nothing changes anything. He doesn't give up. He is going insane but he isn't giving up, he is not giving up on Yutong. He is glad that he at least remembers the loop, else it would be even harder.

 

He has a feeling, a strange feeling that he didn't remember the first few times, doesn't know why but he remembers but even that doesn't help him from stopping Yutong's tragic ending every day. He knows the exact time, maybe not the way Yutong will die but he can't stop it even though he knows it will happen at 5:30 sharp, why?

 

Yao is so weak. If it had been Yutong, he would have probably saved Yao after the first few times. It has been twenty times and Yao is going insane, more insane than hypnosis and Jue and he hasn't been able to go ahead with any sort of progress at all. He hasn't tried asking anyone else for help either, he really can't, something stops him because he has to be the one to do it, to set things right.

 

It is between him and Yao, it feels as if it would become worse if he were to involve someone else and he is going insane because honestly, he has never thought about his feelings or gut instinct before. He has always always been precise with methodology and judgments because emotions can't be used in such places.

 

But for the first time, he is forced to think out of the box and it isn't working... at all.

 

He is running out of options. He is breaking down. He can't watch Yutong die again and again and again. He really can't take it anymore. He is near his breaking point. What the hell is expected from him?

 

**********

 

It is the thirtieth day and Yao screams and falls on his knees in front of Yutong and his colleagues. They look at him like he has lost his mind and he has, finally, completely. He can't, not anymore, no, he really can't, he doesn't want to, he refuses to.

 

He breaks down and Yutong gently picks him up, trying to get him to walk to his room so they can have some privacy that Yao desperately craves all the time. Not now though.

 

It is 5:25 PM. Yao takes his hands from Yutong's clutches and shakes his head. "You are going to die in 10 minutes and all I can do is watch."

 

Yutong looks confused. "That is a morbid joke."

 

The others leave so as to give them privacy but Yao doesn't really care at this point.

 

"It isn't a joke, mouse. I have been watching you die again and again and again and again for a month, for 30 days and I can't do this anymore. It is a time loop and I am stuck and I c-can't do this anymore. I don't know what to do, I don't want you to die."

 

Yutong takes a careful step forward and hugs Yao and Yao melts into his broad chest and hugs his shoulders and breaks down even more, crying, sobbing loudly because he can't hold back, not after watching Yutong's bloody broken mangled body again and again, watching the light leave his eyes again and again, Yao can't be strong anymore, no, he really can't.

 

He is extremely scared and lost.

 

He whispers, "I love you, Bai Yutong, you bastard, I love you and I ruined it. I h-have ruined everything, mouse."

 

"Kitten, I don't know what is happening, what can I do to help?"

 

"Don't die, p-please."

 

"I will be extremely careful, I promise."

 

Yao nods and buries his face in Yutong's neck and takes in the familiar scent, he doesn't want Yutong to let him go, he really doesn't. Only one minute is left and he clings onto Yutong, Yutong's strong body the only thing keeping him from falling down, holding him like an anchor.

 

He hasn't slept or eaten probably in days and it is taking a toll on his body and mind.

 

And minutes pause and Yutong is there, alive and breathing.

 

"M-mouse?"

 

"Yes, kitten."

 

"You are still here?"

 

"Do you want me to give you space? I don't want to leave you on your own but if that's what you want..." Yutong trails off.

 

"No, please don't leave me."

 

Yutong is surprised, what is happening? Yao is never the one to do things like these in front of others, he doesn't do it even if it is just him and Yutong. Just what in the world happened? He is worried. He doesn't want to push Yao but he will make him talk later. Right now, making him feel better and making him understand that Yutong isn't going to die is his top priority.

 

"I won't."

 

Yao sags and Yutong catches him and smiles to himself. He lifts Yao and Yao doesn't even resist or protest like usual. Yao doesn't let go of Yutong's clothes, he falls asleep, exhaustion taking over. Yutong smiles fondly and gently enters his office, closes the blinds and places Yao gently on the couch. He removes Yao's coat and shoes and ties.

 

He settles on one side, softly placing Yao's head on his lap and carding his hand through Yao's dark, shiny, soft locks. Soon enough, he falls asleep as well.

 

**********

 

For the first time in a month, he wakes up, it is not Feb 23, it is not 2 AM and he is not alone and there is no fucking nightmare and he doesn't feel like puking or killing himself. He smiles tiredly as he sees Yutong's face.

 

That was all it took? Confessing his feelings, not hiding in front of everyone to set things right and Yao doesn't regret it. He won't regret it because Yutong is more important. He really should have realized this before but it is not too late.

 

**********

 

She smiles in the dark. It took almost a month but things are well now. Sometimes, people say you don't know the importance of something until you lose it. Yao regretted not being as open as Yutong, not showing his love outwardly, a bad incident forced him to realize it and now he knows better.

 

Not everyone will have a second chance, she cannot give it to everyone, she feels sad for the other lost souls but she can only give it to certain people who can actually work on it. It is useless to give it to everyone, she cannot be everyone's guardian angel but she is glad for those she can help. Right now, she is glad for Yutong and Yao's love for each other. They won't let each other go in a long time.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please DO NOT REPOST my fics without my permission. Kindly ask me before hand for translations. Credit my work/profile Ao3/Wattpad URL without fail. I am on AO3 ([imaginaryfriendashkun](https://archiveofourown.org/users/imaginaryfriendashkun/pseuds/imaginaryfriendashkun)) and Wattpad ([alien/imaginaryfriendashkun](https://www.wattpad.com/user/alienfriendashkun)) and Youtube ([Ash Kun](https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCEWO5kWpuGFJzdSV0LTLGKg?view_as=subscriber))and not on any other platform
> 
> Please help me report them if you find my fics somewhere else
> 
> Thank you for reading :D Have a nice day! Kindly leave a comment if you have time :)

**Author's Note:**

> Please DO NOT REPOST my fics without my permission. Kindly ask me before hand for translations. Credit my work/profile Ao3/Wattpad URL without fail. I am on AO3 ([imaginaryfriendashkun](https://archiveofourown.org/users/imaginaryfriendashkun/pseuds/imaginaryfriendashkun)) and Wattpad ([alien/imaginaryfriendashkun](https://www.wattpad.com/user/alienfriendashkun)) and Youtube ([Ash Kun](https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCEWO5kWpuGFJzdSV0LTLGKg?view_as=subscriber))and not on any other platform
> 
> Please help me report them if you find my fics somewhere else
> 
> Thank you for reading :D Have a nice day! Kindly leave a comment if you have time :)


End file.
